Post by: KERRY OPHELIEN
You don’t want to be the guy who gets walked all over in relationships or in friendships. Trust me, it sucks. So if you’re an example of any of the signs below, it may be time to reassess where you stand as a man in this thing we call life. Let’s go ahead and get started.
You ask too many damn questions, and you don’t make enough statements.
Conversations shouldn’t be interviews. You shouldn’t find yourself interrogating your friends or a lady of interest every time you open your mouth to speak. Leave the “where are you from?” and “are you an only child?” questions for Time Magazine. Get people’s attention by making statements.
For example, instead of asking a woman on a date, she would love to hear you take charge and say something like, “We should go out sometime.” Statements give you a higher probability of being accepted. Questions, on the other hand, give people the option of saying no.
You rarely say no in your everyday life.
The point is to not come off as a d*ck, but going through life without saying no just to please everyone else is what we here in the real world call a cop out. Have the audacity to think differently and start telling people no when it’s warranted, or when you really disagree.
Every now and again, you’ll find it freeing and, dare I say, liberating. Not to be at the beck and call of your friends who expect you do 28 things at a time is a feeling we should all experience. Learn the power of NO.
You apologize incessantly.
During a very pivotal scene in “Good Will Hunting,” Dr. Sean Maguire (Robin Williams) tells Will Hunting (Matt Damon), “It’s not your fault.” This applies to you, too. You must come to grips with the very real idea that not everything in life is your fault. With that said, stop apologizing all the damn time!
Being apologetic, or thinking that you’re appeasing people by saying “I’m sorry,” can actually come off as insensitive sometimes and definitely shows signs of being insecure. You’re not doing anyone any favors by asking for forgiveness. Leave the indecisiveness and questioning of all your decisions at the door, and start living a life of no apologies.
You are always available; thus, you are predictable.
A little mystery never hurt anyone, so would it kill you to not pick up your iPhone and reply to every blue message you receive? It’s okay to be busy. In fact, when your friends, or lady friend, try to get in contact with you, tell them you’re busy.
Try staying off Facebook for day. Try not letting everyone in the Twitterverse know what you ate for breakfast, or which train you took to get to Canal Street. Unpredictability is appealing and intriguing, like Ben Affleck as Batman.
The women in your life are 100% comfortable around you.
The women you are dealing with in your personal life should not be 100% comfortable around you, ever. Comfort usually leads to boredom. Boredom usually leads to late nights with Rosy Palm and her five sisters.
Now, I’m not saying you should carry a handgun in your jeans when you and your girl are at home watching “The Walking Dead” on Netflix. What I am saying is — going back to the point of always being too available — women shouldn’t feel that they can read you like an open book.
If you leave nothing to the imagination, there is nothing sexy and mysterious left to wonder about. Find a way to keep her interested by maintaining some distance between the two of you. Always leave her thinking, “What is he going to do next?” That’s how you keep from falling into the quicksand of niceness.