Post by: Laura Argintar
Whether you believe in it or not, astrology is fun because we all love to read about ourselves. Every time you read your zodiac, it’s like experiencing your birthday. It’s all about you!
Here’s how your zodiac sign influences your dating habits.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)
When it comes to dating, Capricorns are like toasters — they are stable and loyal, but not the most spontaneous.
Experiments and threesomes are probably off the table. Capricorns are patient and in it for the long run, so they’re prone to staying in relationships way past their expiration date.
They don’t like to make themselves vulnerable, so if you’re trying to court a Cap, you better have some crunch.
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
An Aquarius is imaginative and adventurous, meaning she probably was your slutty friend in college. Their unconventional and creative nature make them fun, quirky partners to have sex in random places with.
Because this sign isn’t quick to judge and prefers their mates to be themselves, you can feel totally comfortable showing an Aquarius your weird toy soldier collection, elliptical machine used for sex or curved penis.
If that doesn’t spell love, we don’t know what would.
Pisces (February 19 to March 20)
Pisces are very sensitive and devoted people, but fall easily into self-pity — making them perfect broken conquests for the rest of us to f*ck-n-chuck.
They’ll go to great lengths to make their partners happy, so don’t be shy about asking for oral every night of the week. A Pisces is a nurturer, but don’t get too comfortable unless you want a stage-five clinger inappropriately jumping into your family photos.
A Pisces doesn’t deal well with rejection either (remember those self-pity issues?), so if you break up with one, make sure to let them down easy — and change your address.
Aries (March 20 to April 19)
Aries are fierce, exciting people willing to take a gamble in life, which makes them great partners for guys who want to have sex without condoms.
Aries are always down to try new things — including people — so beware of cheaters and fingers up the butt.
It should be noted that they also have difficulty admitting their faults, which makes them unlikely to apologize afterwards.
Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
True to its bull symbol, a Taurus is stubborn and persistent, which means she’ll also make a great mom one day.
They’re also passionate and dependable — a Taurus man will buy his beloved girlfriend tampons and a Taurus woman will always take her birth control.
This zodiac can also be extremely lazy though, so expect to be on top more often. Don’t be afraid to grab a Taurus by its horns — after all, make-up sex is the best sex.
Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
The astrological sign of duality, Geminis tend to have flip-flopping personalities. Their variety and energy means they’ll be great partners in bed.
Geminis live for great conversations and social activities, therefore you should expect a natural flirt who loves playing hard-to-get almost as much as they love playing get-me-hard.
If you’re looking for a wild fling, they’re not one to turn down the offer.
Cancer (June 21 to July 22)
Cancers are sensual and peaceful creatures whose version of a hot night together includes candles, intimacy and cuddling afterwards. So if you’re the type that likes to hit it and quit it, you might want to try a different sign.
They’ve had their hearts broken before. They’ll stay up all night with you and indulge in pillow talk because peace, harmony and love are important to a Cancer. (No relation to hippies.)
Leo (July 23 to August 22)
Leos demand the spotlight, so if you’re planning on having a threesome, make sure they’re the star. They like flattery and being the center of attention, which means you can’t overdo it on the romantic text messages.
Because a Leo loves drama and opulence, you can be sure to expect a Gatsby-esque romance where there’s never a dull moment. Appreciate her roar because this bitch is like Miley… she can’t be tamed.
Virgo (August 24 to September 22)
Observant and precise, a Virgo will always be able to find your hole. But sex isn’t the only thing on this zodiac’s mind.
Virgos are also analytical and unselfish — they’re going to make you work for it. Like a chocolate truffle, Virgos have a hard exterior but are super sweet on the inside. All you have to do is make the first bite.
Virgos like things to be exact. If you aren’t exactly what they want (come on Virgos, nobody is perfect!), they’ll keep reaching for the stars.
Libra (September 23 to October 22)
Libras are the most balanced of the zodiac. They might mindf*ck your texts, but that’s only because they’re viewing it from every possible angle.
A Libra’s indecisive nature will make you question if they’re fully committed. When Libras walk into a room, they are liked by everyone, which is a major turn on.
Libras are also natural charmers, so beware the Libra man who tells you he loves your short hair when it’s really past your shoulders. They also value grace and politeness — make sure you use a fork and knife before you dig in.
Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)
No offense to Scorpios out there, but they’re difficult partners. They’re jealous, possessive, suspicious and manipulative, which sounds like a lot of fun to date… if you were “Swimfan.”
There’s a reason Scorpios are so independent: No one wants to be around them.
Because of this, they’re very successful in business (the independent, self-reliant, determined part). Marry your career, Scorpio.
Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)
Sagittariuses are lovable and straightforward people, so they’ll tell you if you have terrible morning breath. They can be totally hot-headed, which means you’ll have a lot of make-up sex to look forward to.
Due to their ardent nature, Sagittariuses are experienced lovers, having had few but quality relationships.
They’ll get to know you real well… in bed.