By: Avin Del Rosario
Maybe you were right. Maybe I am the one that got away but I don’t think its a bad thing that I got away. I believe I should really get away from you and it’s not your fault. We’re clearly meant for different things. Yes it was love and I really did love you more than my own life but our time was up. I still love you but its not the way that you’d want me to.
We started off as fire on fire and it was good at first but we didn’t see how dangerous it was for the both of us. When we’re up, we’re really high up and when we’re down well it’s like hell for us. I strongly believed that we could conquer it all. That we could make it to our own little forever. But we didn’t. We were living a fairytale that could turn into a nightmare any second we snap. It wasn’t doing us any good. It was destroying us, not just as a couple but as a person as well. I could see that we were both holding each other back. So I decided to end it.
I won’t pretend that it was easy for me. For five years I’ve lived with you consistently existing in my life and then all of a sudden you were gone and I know it was for the best but it was still hard. I was the one who decided to end us in the first place but I missed you a whole lot. After you, there was really no one else I could say that I loved as much as I loved you but that doesn’t mean that we should get back together. That’s why whenever you come back for me, I always say no.
We’ve done things to each other that’s beyond repair. So after five years, when you re-entered my life for the third time after our break-up, I still stand by my decision. I may have changed and grown more into the girl that you would’ve wanted to grow old with but that doesn’t mean we should start again. Yes I’m scared and yes maybe we could make it work this time because now we’re a far cry from the nineteen year old kids we once were back when we started. Yes our relationship was a good five years for the both of us while it lasted but it has also been five years since we broke up and a lot of things has changed.
You keep saying that I am the one that got away. That’s why you keep on coming back to me. I say that you’re probably right. I am the one that got away. Let’s put an emphasis on the part where I got away. I already got away. Just because I am the one that got away doesn’t mean that you have to get me back. Because being the one that got away doesn’t always necessarily mean that I am the One for you. And I believe you deserve better. You deserve someone who can trust you completely and I deserve someone whom I can have that sense of security with.
We deserve someone who will not have any second thoughts. Someone who can and will give us a hundred percent of themselves.
I can only give you friendship but not my heart. I pray that you find happiness and peace of mind. There are things in our relationship that I miss and I’m not seeing anyone right now, but I know in my heart that we don’t belong together anymore because if we’re still meant for each other then I wouldn’t be having second thoughts. I’d jump with you head first from a cliff in a second, but I don’t feel it in my heart anymore. I’m really sorry. Please stop chasing the wrong One. I do hope you find the right One as soon as you’re ready. And I know she’s worth the wait and you won’t have to chase her because she will never leave.